【sexual ambivalence, androgyny, and mutual eroticism】

Instagram can sexual ambivalence, androgyny, and mutual eroticismbe an surprisingly stressful experience.

From making sure you stand above an açaí bowl at the right angle to waiting for someone to approve your follow (and follow you back), it's an app with the potential to sway your whole mood.

Allow us to take you through the thoughts everyone has while posting an Instagram.

0 minutes after posting - 0 likes

I posted a good picture. My caption is good and it has a pun. People like me.

1 minute after posting - 0 likes

I've failed. I am an embarrassment to everyone I know. I will delete this in another 30 seconds if it doesn't get a like.

2 minutes after posting - 2 likes

I will live to see another Instagram on this earth.

12 minutes after posting - 10 likes

No, now I will delete this. This is mortifying. Instagram did away with this hurdle, then brought it back. Why? I am about to make a fake account then like this myself.

13 minutes after posting - 11 likes

THANK GOD.

30 minutes after posting - 20 likes

Great. You know what? I hardly even care if I get any more likes. I'm sure I'll keep climbing, though. At least going to triple this.

1 hour after posting - 30 likes

This is still respectable. I expected a lot more, but I'm going to be all right.

1.5 hours after posting - 39 likes

This is so embarrassing. Some awful avocado toast photo posted by an acquaintance--way after I posted mine--is already over 100 likes. People like me less than toast. I've always suspected it, but now I know for sure.

2 hours after posting - 60 likes

People were eating dinner when I posted it. They don't think of me as less than toast. They just require nourishment.

3 hours after posting - 78 likes

Steadily rising. I will be okay. I'm going to put my phone away. I'm getting obsessed with tracking these likes.

4 hours after posting - 125,453 likes

Oh, thank heavens! I've gone viral!

4 hours 1 minute after posting - 93 likes

Nope, never mind. I was looking at a Nick Jonas Instagram by accident.

4 hours 1 minute 13 seconds - 125,453 likes

Wait, maybe I am Nick Jonas?

4 hours 1 minute 15 seconds - 93 likes

No, I'm not Nick Jonas. Never mind.

5 hours after posting - 107 likes

This is respectable. I will check again in the morning, but for now, I am proud of myself and the person I've become.

1 day after posting - 133 likes

Okay, was kinda hoping for a lot more to have happened overnight, but I'll take it.

56 days after posting - 134 likes

Why is this random account liking my old post?

3 years after posting - 135 likes

Why is this random acquaintance from middle school liking this post?

3 years 2 seconds after posting - 134 likes

Caught them.

BONUS: You're cordially invited to shake your butt at Corgi prom