【Exploring The Jungle Between My Wife’s Crotch】
Who needs regular old lockers when you could Exploring The Jungle Between My Wife’s Crotchhave ...
... HIGH-TECH, TOTALLY PIMPED OUT LOCKERS REPLETE WITH 43-INCH TEE-VEES AND COOL GLOWY LIGHTING AROUND THE DOORS, ALL FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF JUST OVER TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS A POP, BABY?!?! SWAG, SWAG, SWAG!
At least, so apparently goes the thinking of the University of Texas Longhorns football program, which on Friday unveiled probably the most tricked-out lockers the world has ever seen.
SEE ALSO: New York tabloids had the same perfect headline pun for Eli Manning's memorabilia scandalHere's a first look, via Bob Shipley, the Longhorns' director of high school relations.
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Traditional nameplates signifying which lockers are whose?
Out!
Forty-three inch HD-TVs that can show highlights, hype reels, and yes, display boring old names?
In!
Here's another look, from the team's official Twitter account.
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Meanwhile, college football writer Bruce Feldman reports that the sparkling new storage spaces cost $10,500 eachto construct.
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And if you're wondering -- no, college football players still don't get paid.
But perks like these lockers should help new Longhorns coach Tom Herman recruit high school stars to the U of Texas -- high school stars who will help him earn the five-year, $28.75 million dollar contract he signed with the university in December.
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