【One on One Lessons Where You Learn Through Hands on Caressing】

"What the fuck is One on One Lessons Where You Learn Through Hands on Caressingyour problem, America?"

How many people inside and outside the US in the past few months had this flickering thought? It all changes though if the person to ask the question is "Hillary Clinton," the Democratic presidential hopeful who has penned an expletive-filled post on Medium properly titled "Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am."

Exceptional as this might seem, though, it's actually the case that we're dealing with a parody of the real Clinton with the intent of breaking all the barriers of political correctness and beyond.

I’m Hillary goddamn Clinton. I’m a political prodigy, have been since I was 16. I have an insane network of powerful friends. I’m willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides, all so I can fix this fucking country for you. And all you little bitches need to do is get off your asses one goddamn dayin November.

In the post, the fake Clinton launches into a tirade regarding the several reasons her historic candidacy for the White House is undervalued.

Look, this is the big leagues. If you think any problem has a tweetable solution, you’re just wrong. If you think “border wall” or “muslims = bad” is gonna solve our problems, I don’t have time for your shit.

This is literally why we have a representative government. I know you don’t want to read long, boring things. So I do it for you, and I ask a bunch of smart people, and we come up with shit that works. Here’s my solution on energy. Here’s my solution on Wall Street. Here’s my solution on jobs. I have fucking binders full of this shit and you know it. I’m so fucking ready, America.

Self-described as the "45th President of the United States, patriarchy smasher, bad motherfucker," fake Clinton goes on to claim the GOP is terrified of her.

"I’ve spent my life clawing my way into a system that’s terrified of change," the post says. "A system that just wants to let rich white dudes be rich white dudes. And holy shit, you guys, I could not have picked a better opponent for my final boss battle."

Among other things, the rant famously quotes the real Clinton doing the "dab" dance on Ellen DeGeneres' talk show and a poem from Nancy Scheibner that Clinton quoted back in 1969 during a graduation speech.

Read the full post here.