【Beauty and the Beast porn parody (1988)】

As states across America continue in their bids to host Amazon's second headquarters,Beauty and the Beast porn parody (1988) the mayor of Kansas City, Missouri, is taking the competition to the next level.

In a desperate attempt to win Jeff Bezos' heart, Mayor Sly James took the time to buy and review 1,000 itemson Amazon, throwing out 5 stars like his life depended on it and sharing why the Missouri city is a great location for HQ2 in the process.

According to a press release sent to Mashablefrom the mayor's office, "within each product review, Mayor James tells Kansas City’s story, using a stat, fact, or story about his city."

It's a creative way to market your city, sure, but could it be the most desperate attempt to win Amazon's attention yet?

"It’s no secret we believe Amazon is a great fit for Kansas City," James said in the release. "So the idea was easy — make Kansas City the most-well reviewed city on Amazon."

James made his bid public by sharing and explaining his plan on Twitter and Facebook.

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The mayor even created a teaser of himself reviewing the boxes upon boxes of products he purchased. In the clip above, he, a fully grown man, can be seen writing a glowing review for a toddler's train engineer costume. Very normal. Not at all strange.

He also shared photographs of a few of the reviews he'd written, including this one for Fiber One cereal, which he claims tastes great both in and out of milk. His accolade then seamlessly transitions into a bragging session about Kansas City's fast internet connections and extensive fiber knowledge.

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You can view all of James' reviews — on everything from wind chimes and backpacks, diapers and kitty litter — here.

The mayor also invited Kansas City residents to share his reviews and show love for the city with the hashtag #KC5Stars.

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"If this helps us get in the finals of Amazon HQ2, that’s great," the mayor said in the press release. "If not, we’ll still be proud of this city’s future, and a few of us will be a wind chime or two richer."

James plans to donate each of the 1,000 items he purchased to local charities across Kansas City, so at least people will benefit from all this extra-ness.

Other states have done some pretty wacky things to appeal to the headquarters, too.

Stonecrest, Georgia, straight up promised to re-name part of its city "Amazon" if Bezos decided to build there. Tucson, Arizona, chopped down a 21-foot saguaro cactus and sent it as a bribegift. And Dallas, Texas, went for the more romantic approach of making a Spotify playlist.

Luckily for the rest of the world the Amazon madness will end in a few days. The deadline to submit an official bid is Oct. 19.

Bask in the glory, Bezos. The cities won't suck up to you forever.