【Poor Things】

Non-monogamy has entered popular consciousness in recent years,Poor Things with terms like open relationship and polyamory becoming more visible online. But what about relationship anarchy?

Relationship anarchy (or RA) is a philosophy that regards all relationships as equally important and unique. In RA, no relationship should be bound by rules that aren't entirely agreed on by the involved parties. The phrase was coined by writer and activist Andie Nordgrenand seeks to apply the principles of anarchism (which calls for abolishing authority and hierarchy) to relationships.

RA takes center stage in Feeld's (the app for kinky and non-monogamous people) latest State of Dating Report, which is co-written by sex educator and author Ruby Rare. The report states that RA could be the antidote for Gen Z's loneliness.

Both before and since the outbreak of COVID, Americans have felt lonely. In 2023, then-Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued an advisory about the loneliness epidemic. As the report cites, Gen Z is the loneliest generation, according to experts.

But relationship anarchists on Feeld report less loneliness and a higher likelihood of valuing deep and broad connections. RA practitioners on the app are 1.5 times more likely to say having a diverse range of connections helps with loneliness, 31 percent more likely to report feeling like they can shape their relationships to meet their personal needs, and 20 percent more likely to report having a reliable support network. (This is according to internal and external surveys of over 3,000 Feeld users and 6,000 non-users taken in February 2025.)

"RA is one of several possible avenues to develop emotional depth and resilience, and broaden your community: there’s no-one-size-fits-all approach here," the report states.

While relationship anarchy isn't as well-known a term as non-monogamy, polyamory, or swinging, one in five non-Feeld members realized they've practiced it (or are practicing) a relationship style that fits within its definition. The realization spiked to one in two people who are on Feeld.

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But, as with any relationship style, there are challenges to RA. Negotiating relationship boundaries was 536 percent(!) more challenging for RA Feeld members than non-RA members. A reason for this could be the lack of a script to follow when practicing something like RA — anything other than monogamy, really. Those who practice RA were also 96 percent more likely to have experienced negative reactions from prioritizing seeing multiple partners over focusing on one partner. But as the recent dating scene has shown, daters have trouble being in communication with other people to begin with.

Last year, Feeld's State of Dating Report found that Gen Z actually fantasizes about monogamy (and kink). Guess that didn't last long. You can see all the findings in Feeld's State of Dating Report.