【eroticization-of-fear】

Ever wanted your phone to have eroticization-of-feareverything? Like a battery that's big enough to accomodate six regular phones? Or a massive loudspeaker? Or an actual projector? Or another friggin' phone built into the back of the first phone?

Ulefone's got all of that covered. The company specialized in rugged phones which also come with additional functionality.

At MWC Barcelona, Ulefone brought a couple of new phones, including the Armor 33 Pro and the Armor 34 Pro.

The Armor 33 Pro is an absolute beast of a phone, with a 6.95-inch display, a Dimensity 7300X 5G chip, 12GB RAM, 512GB, and a 50/50/64-megapixel camera trio on the back, with that 64-megapixel sensor having night vision capabilities.

These specs don't actually mean anything until you've seen the phone. It's about as thick as three regular phones, as it packs an absolutely monstrous 25,500mAh battery. It also has a huge loudspeaker in the back, and an additional display (for some reason) that makes this thing feel like an odd two-phones-in-one combo.

Then there's the Armor 34 Pro. It has the same specs (including the big battery), but instead of the extra display and loudspeaker it packs an actual 150lm projector built into the top of the phone.

There's also a 1,200lm LED flash on the back, probably bright enough to scare several bears away should you encounter them in the forest (do not ever try this, the author of this story is joking and knows nothing about bears).

Ulefone didn't say how much these phones weigh, but my estimate is at least half a kilogram; in other words, these aren't your regular, pocketable phones, even if you're used to big, rugged devices. They are specialty equipment that also happen to have a phone inside. Or two.

If you have to ask, these phones should also be near-indestructible, up to IP68/IP69K and MIL-STD-810H specs. This pretty much means you can use a high-pressure water jet washer to clean these phones, and that's after you've dropped them into the mud from a 5 foot height.

Software is based on Android 14 for both devices, and it might require some polishing as it wasn't very responsive when I tried it, but hopefully it can get ironed out until these phones hit the market.

There's no word on pricing, and exact date of availability is a mystery, though these phones should launch in China soon.