【Dear Utol (2025): Week 8 Highlights Episode 45】

Every year Apple events manage to do Dear Utol (2025): Week 8 Highlights Episode 45the impossible: get people off Pornhub.

And Wednesday's "Far Out" event was no exception. With the introduction of the latest gadgets, both iPhone and Android users felt compelled to leave the porn site to see what was up.

This isn't unusual; Pornhub has been tracking Apple events for years to see how its traffic fares. As if on cue, page views dip below that of an average day as soon as the event starts. This year's iPhone 14 event followed that very same pattern:

Both Apple andAndroid users tuned in to see the updates on Apple Watches and AirPods Pro 2. Pornhub's biggest drop in traffic came during the reveal of the Apple Watch Ultra, a brand-new addition to the smartwatch line aimed at fitness and outdoor enthusiasts. Viewers were particularly interested in the Apple Watch Ultra's workout and fitness features — 7.4 percent of users on Apple devices left Pornhub to check it out, the porn giant's biggest drop of the event:

Some Android users stayed put to hear about the new AirPods Pro 2, but once the iPhone 14 showed up, it was over. Android users decided their time was better spent wanking, which they proceeded to do. During the announcement of the iPhone 14's emergency satellite messaging feature, in particular, so many Android users switched their browsers to Pornhub that traffic was over a percentage point above average:

Seems like some Android users attempted to watch the whole thing, but that was a fool's errand. Instead, especially after the iPhone Pro portion of the event, they dropped off to get off on Pornhub:

• The notch is no more on the iPhone 14 Pro
• How to safely store your nudes
• Is the iPhone 14 Pro actually 'deep purple?' We investigate.
• How Pornhub changed the world
• Three new Apple Watches are here. How do their prices compare to older models?

We can't exactly blame Android users for going back to Pornhub in droves. This Apple event was void of "Daddy" Craig Federighi, a highlight of past events, and was considered generally ho-hum.

For a brief moment, though, Apple was able to hold the world's — and porn viewers' — attention.