【Adultery Alumni Association (2018)】

Valentine's Day is Adultery Alumni Association (2018)rapidly approaching, and you might be spending your days swiping or "liking" in order to muster up some kind of date for the occasion. (Or at least a hookup to fill the void of human connection for a few hours, even if that void grows bigger afterwards...just me?)

We live in a time where broader tech companies are getting into the dating game, so why shouldn't Amazon add another tentacle to its octopus business model and have a dating site, too? Facebook shouldn't be allowed to have all the matchmaking fun.

Enter the founders of Amazon Dating. Don't worry — it's clearly a parody. "We're such huge fans of Amazon... and dating," founders Atlas Acopian and Suzy Shinn told Mashable over email. "So we thought, why not combine the two."

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Even so, the site gives off hella dystopian vibes, assigning Black Mirror-esque star ratings for everyone. Prices start from a reasonable $9.99! And in true Amazon fashion, these potential suitors are available on Prime. But act quick — some will be off the market soon:

In addition to these "profiles," Amazon Dating has some fun Easter Eggs as well, like linking to Chat Roulette as "Prime Video" and Britney Spears's "Toxic" as "Your Last Relationship." The site's FAQ clearly explains it is a joke, and I'd venture to say a good one at that.

When asked if they had heard from Amazon, the founders joked that they are scheduling a call with billionaire Jeff Bezos.

For those wondering, the site is not going anywhere. Acopian and Shinn said they have received thousands of applications and are in the process of reviewing them. "We will be updating the site with new profiles on a user by user basis," they commented.

Amazon Dating can't actually get you a Valentine's date, but hey — Tinder may not be able to, either.

UPDATE: Feb. 5, 2020, 9:12 a.m. EST This post has been updated with comments from Amazon Dating's founders.